Its Fashion Week next week so I thought I may as well write my account of the week now as the mainstream media coverage is normally pretty predictable.
There will be the usual ubiquitous story about a girl’s weight and plus sized models.
Someone may try and get extra coverage by being stupid enough to do a rugby inspired outfit or use one of the next top model rejects.
There will be some announcement by one of those showing about a new collaboration with a chain store.
On Monday night the mayor will speak about the importance of Fashion Week and by Wednesday he will be talking about the Art Gallery.
There will be a controversy, possibly a celebrity and somehow people will compare something irrelevant to adidas or telecom.
A major label not involved will try and steal coverage away and at some point in the week there will be a story about the lack of Christchurch designers and the adversity they face making clothes in their toilet or kitchen, cue more earthquake footage and an ”iconic” ruined Christchurch building.
A designer will show something absurd that will have everyone making claims that the eighties are back; maybe they will use some archival footage from the TV show Gloss.
Watch out for the normal model falling over shots, celebrities stuffing their faces and the close up shot of a front row seat empty with a VIP name sellotaped to it.
An underage model will get drunk prompting someone to “meld” that incident into lifting the drinking age.
People will be shot wearing sunglasses on their heads at inappropriate times.
Someone will comment that this may be the last Fashion Week due to a lack of sponsors.
Someone will profile the best goodie bag of the week.
Petra Bagust will wear more than one outfit in a day.
Bloggers will get shot working on their computers during the show even though this undermines the journalist’s job security.
The Prime Ministers daughter will attend a show.
An all black will attend a show.
A small fledgling designer will complain about the lack of orders they have received even though they probably have no chance of ever fulfilling them if they did get them.
A celebrity (possibly Paul Henry) will be shot with his daughter as his date.
There will be people attending even more cynical than me.